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Monthly Archives: October 2009

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That last picture is from a fully-illustrated kids book called ‘How Things REALLY Work’. This part explains how your luggage goes missing at airports. I like the little guy wearing the bra, he seems to be thinking ‘There’s nothing better than this!’ 

I haven’t been myself lately. But some communication today has taken care of that, and I feel heaps better. Communication is key, people, it is true. And everybody needs to feel loved, otherwise they go crazy.

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How adorable is that picture of the Dalai Lama yawning? Here’s one of my favourite things from him: 

Each of you should feel that you have great potential, and that, with self-confidence and a little more effort, change really is possible if you want it. If you feel that your present way of life is unpleasant or has some difficulties, then don’t look at these negative things. See the positive side, the potential, and make an effort.

Spent today cleaning my room, and adding stuff to my walls. My drawings, other people’s drawings. In second picture, that’s the awesome art of Pat Grant, whose illustrations are so stunningly beautiful and filled with character. The room is slowly filling up with visual inspiration, yay!

 

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I’m starving. It’s 5.20 a.m. and I haven’t slept. It’s a combination of caffeine and too many ideas. (Coffee works so strangely for me. Sometimes I become very subdued, sometimes I get really bright and chirpy. Other times, it simply has no effect. I don’t know.)

Something happened recently at work, which has forced me to step out of my comfort zone. It was good for a while, it sheltered me from having to make any strong decisions about what I really want. So tonight, my caffeine-stimulated brain has me drawing and plotting like crazy, all the while thinking, thinking, thinking. 

Part of me knows that I’ve made beautiful dreams become reality before, and there is no reason why I couldn’t do it again. But another part of me is scared and doubtful, to the point of inertia. I’m afraid I’ll make a mistake, I’m afraid I won’t have the answers, and that I’d fail. So with those fears in my heart, I retreat into the illusory safety net of working for someone else who is responsible for the paycheck. 

I want to know that everything will be ok. And in the long run, it will be. What’s the worst that could happen? (Some sensible risk assessment would not go amiss in the next couple of months.) Everyone must start somewhere. 

“When you take Imperfect Action, you’re discovering yourself, not waiting to be discovered.” – Christine Kane

I met this amazing saxophone player tonight. His playing was flawless, and you could hear his heart being played out through the music. It was beautiful. He picked up his instrument of choice at the age of 25, and has been playing for 30 years. He has a day job, but says he wants to play more and more music, because there is so much! It made me realize that the better you get at something, the more you want to do it. Getting better is a learning process that a lot of people, including myself, find difficult. It involves facing discouragement, your inner demons, and dealing with pain. It takes up your time, and tries your patience. For the reasons listed, I suppose that’s why we are encouraged to do stuff we love! 

We’ll see how the next few months pan out. For now, it’s mac and cheese time!

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Sometimes I wish life was one big comedy show, and that I didn’t take things so seriously. I think anybody who has ever met me would think, ‘Oh, okay, nice girl’, yet subconsciously know that I am not to be messed with. Yup, I have a temper on a leash, and sometimes I REALLY let it loose. Through a series of events in the past week, some personal stress has been mounting in my life. Nobody likes incompetency, but most of the time we put up with it. We usually also know in spite of our best efforts to get the message through, people only see what they want to see. 

But, I mean, hey! It’s life right? You get bad service, bad bosses, bad employees. Sometimes you just have to laugh it off, for your own sake. Lengthen your lifespan a little by not getting stressed out!

I guess this is a lesson I’m yet to learn. My temper and I have been playing wrestling games, and I’ve been letting it win. I thought, ‘What’s the harm?’ but ultimately, I’m not doing anybody any favours here. Maybe at the time it feels like I’m just trying to make my point, with a little extra force. In the end, the upsets are doubled – on both sides!

It’s not worth it, Zahra! Keep that thing in check, and slow down with the chillies. Let’s bring on the pictures of rainbows and kittens. 

Tonight, I’m home alone, and watching me some Juno. I felt like some snappy Diablo Cody dialogue, plus, I am in love with Michael Cera.

It was a beautiful Thursday. We made on-the-spot decisions to go to the beach in the morning, and had salty, hot chips for breakfast overlooking a grey-blue sea. Got back in the afternoon and went to work. Managed to get some stuff done, and ended the day with a spur of the moment dinner party! Making and eating food with friends = superbonding. I’ll bet we all go to sleep with a hum of well being in our bodies tonight.