It’s a rainy evening here right now. I’m watching old episodes of SATC, and am mostly alone in the house for the first time in two weeks.
I guess the thought of being alone has been on my mind lately. It’s too easy to feel like everyone is too busy for me, and I have felt that before. But this time around, I don’t. I feel really grateful for all the love I’ve received, from friends and family who have gone out of their way to see me. Each moment has been special and warm.
I think some part of me also really desires to be by myself to gather my thoughts about… everything. A memory of an hour of coffee and drawing in Fitzroy crossed my mind, hence the photos above.
Another thing that has been on my mind is marriage. For the past year or so, it feels like marriage is a pervasive topic, even though I myself am not particularly interested in it right now. Probably because it’s sort of around this period that I see acquaintances popping out the wedding pictures on Facebook. But being here, and with wisdom from my mum and friends, I realize that no one is actually EXPECTING anything at all. Everyone is chilled, and doing what is best for them.
There are many things I find my mind drifting towards, worrying over. It’s human. There are areas of my life that feel cold, where I feel like love is draining away. Then love crashes in, through other means, and I am reminded that all will be well.